Yes, I Plan to be Selfish With 2014.

Live. Be. Write. Go. Laugh. Live. See. Smile. Write. Then live again.

That's the rolling agenda for this new year. This 2014 that I'm trying my damnedest not to plan from top to bottom. Because c'mon, we all know that when we swear by resolutions and make sweeping promises to change, things don't always go as planned. I'm not trying to chastise the "New Year, New Me" crew, trust me. I'm learning to just go with the flow with things and let life unfold organically. It's just better that way. Organic. For me at least. And I'm the most important part of this equation.

I've learned that this year. Well, last year now. Just let life happen, and be present to record it as it does. Go with it. Make it work. My happiness was controlled by so many agents. So many hands were in the pot, trying to give order to a life that I haven't even experienced to the fullest yet. And I'll admit, some of that was my doing. I'm a compulsive planner, to-do list writer and write-my-goals-as-I-go-er. Which is fine, because I believe power lies in the pen. But beauty lies in unpredictability. There were so many spin offs to my script, so many life stories I wrote that I didn't plan to. New characters got included. Different genres. I'm at point E, and I didn't even realize when or even if I left point A. My experiences have been all over the place, and for that I'm thankful. Eventually, it'll all make for one hell of a story.


Last night, I spent the last few hours of 2013 with laughter and liquor, old friends and acquaintances-turned-friends, sub-zero wind chills and shivering with former strangers, guacamole (!!!) and Checker's chicken. As the people piled into my friend's apartment and separate social circles blended with others like osmosis, it felt like a message to me. The aha! moment of my plan of action to actually be more social like I want to, not be afraid to crack a joke with someone whose name I may not be able to recall the next morning (sorry!), take pictures of people without asking. Be present in the moment, not just observe it from the sidelines. Everything felt right and easy-going, a shift in gears from how I've been feeling the past couple months.



I felt new and fresh and young and pretty and confident and okay with where I was in life, and my only pressing concern of the evening was whether I should mix the tequila with orange juice or ginger ale (I had both. Both were fine).

My friends are always telling me, "Live, Stacy! Open up!" or when I doll up and try something new, "I love this! Do this more often!"

That's this year's central goal. Let go. Break down these fictional walls that I built up around myself. Be my happiest self, because people notice that I have a lot more to me than what meets the eye. To live -- confidently, spontaneously, wholly and unashamedly -- for me.

Take pictures for me. Write for me. Dress for me. Love for me. Travel for me. Create for me. Smile for me. Truly make this next 365 days all about finding, enjoying, releasing and sharing my best self.

So with that being said: Cheers to the New Year! 2014, let's make this time a good one.



Comments

  1. Came across your blog via @fromawildflower. You wrote everything I'm feeling going into 2014. Cheers to a great year!

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