Absentee Status

Whoa. *Big Sean voice*

It’s been quite the minute. I sincerely apologize for that. Between my last post and now, a myriad of thoughts have been swirling around my mind. I’ve been exhausting notepads, post-its and napkins writing down germs of thoughts for what I could write about next. But somehow, I’ve never gotten to it.

And as I listen to Adele’s new Bond movie anthem “Skyfall,” I’m prompted to write.

You ever felt like everything was going in your favor that it scared you? That it’s too good to be true. You spend every day smiling at all that’s happened to you, but tip toe around like you’re on eggshells because you don’t want to mess it all up?

I feel like I’m trying to dodge tetanus thumbtacks.

This year hasn’t been going exactly as planned. It’s been better. Way off the trajectory that I had intended. Truthfully, I didn’t “intend” on anything but graduating. Everything else I half blindly prayed for. Me and God were already homies, but I feel like I’ve been talking to him more than anyone else. Or maybe he’s just been listening more intently to my scatter brain thoughts.

All my fragmented goals are starting to form a mosaic of sorts. I can’t really see what the end result is going to like. Neither does the artist. But he’s got some cool schematics in mind, and as he’s working, the vision is slowly but surely becoming decipherable. And I’m just in the middle of it, getting in where I fit in, and it’s beautiful to me.

I’ve been accomplishing a lot of “small” victories (small to the artist, huge as heck to me) from May to now and I’m starting to get hints as to what my role in life is yet. I’m not going to play the guessing game in public. That’s like playing hopscotch around those push pins. I’m just treading slowly, taking me time and soaking in the journey.

I never thought I could say I’m in love with life, but I am. I’m in such a happy space and all my friends are finding their happy spaces.

I know this post is extremely flowery. I promise to deliver something a little more intriguing in my next post. But c’mon, sometimes you HAVE to stop and smell the roses. I just had to acknowledge this moment in my mind. Who knows how special and impactful this will be for me down the road?


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