Monday, June 25, 2012

Boss vs. Bought

I'd like to think that I'm extremely ambitious.

Not sure if I was aware of it until recently. It dawned on me when I was thinking about all the things I want to accomplish in my lifetime career-wise. I was pissed that I was 22 and hadn't mapped my life out yet and decided on the name/title of the career I wanted to pursue. This summer, actually, I answered myself. There is no one occupation I want to claim. 

I want seven. Yes, seven. And I intend to have them all. Possibly simultaneously (we'll see how that goes).  

Now, in my current field (good ol' journalism), me living a quote unquote lavish life isn't going to be immediate by ANY means. Ha! No BMW. No posh condo nestled in the heart of the city. No Diane Von Furstenberg, YSL, Miu Miu, Louis V or Louboutin for me. Which is fine. Bragging about having all that stuff would just make me a buyer, or bought rather. Not necessarily a boss. 

Success isn't being a buyer. It's being a BOSS. 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

My Natural Habitat

Happy Humpday!

Yesterday could have been yet another day at home spent rolling around under the covers, wasting away in the comfort of air conditioning. Okay, okay. Being home isn't that bad.

But I utilized my also-bumming-it little sister and decided to make a little bit of magic happen. I gave her full, yet temporary, access to my closet and makeup and decided to use her as a model and my home as a backdrop. She's grown ALL the way up since the last time we had a makeshift photo shoot and was so much more elegant in these photos. Here's a sneak peek:

See the rest of them here

I must say, it felt good to be shooting again. When you get home, you get comfortable. When you get comfortable, you get lazy. I haven't had access to "models" (aka my college friends) for quite some time, and therefore lost a little bit of my momentum to shoot. 

Time to pick it back up again before I lose these creative juices.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

I'm Sexy & I Think I Know It.

One of my best friends sent me this article on Black Girls Are Easy about dating vs. "come over and chill." 

Boys, read it. It's hilarious. 

Ladies, read it. It's the truth.

Best quotes from the reading:

"Don’t think because some Hoes are winning that you should follow that lifestyle, little ghetto boys shouldn’t drop out of school and try to become Tony Montana, and frustrated girls shouldn't close their heart and start hoeing—few are built for that life. However keep one thing in the back of your mind when thinking about Hoes—Value. A Hoe knows her value, it may be a ratchet ass Juicy Couture bag or it may be a condo on South Beach, either way she got something."

"Just because going over to chill is something to do, doesn’t mean it’s something you should do. Ask to go on date, better yet, steal a little bit of confidence from the Hoes and TELL him you want to go on a date. Stop being happy just to have a man like you! Not only is he supposed to like you he is supposed to worship you. Your charisma should be so f*cking electrifying that any guy who is privileged enough to go out on a date with you should be going out to buy new clothes, getting his car waxed, and scouring Yelp for the most romantic places he could take you on a first date. Getting a bad chick to say “yes” to a date should be like winning the lottery, don’t let him take you for granted as if you’re just another b*tch. You are the Queen of Sparta, owner of a 24-karat p*ssy that these peasants aren’t even worthy to smell. Show confidence, and you will always be treated like quality!"


Any who, reading it made me analyze myself just a little bit more. I like to analyze stuff. Figured out some thangs. 

I mean, I know it, and a lot of my friends know it. 

I lack confidence. There. I said it.

Like, I don't necessarily have low self-esteem and throw pity parties for myself, but I know I don't walk into a room and command attention (from men). I've always been a quiet, reserved girl and always labeled myself as "shy."

The thing is that I'm not even sure if I'm "shy" anymore, because if need be, I can become a shiner and talk up a storm and sh*t on hoes with my talents if I so desired. But in social settings I tend to fall back and just observe, and with guys I clam up altogether. Or creepy older men are attracted to my "poised" (aka silent) nature. I don't get it. I don't think me being pseudo-shy is my issue at all.

Unfortunately, I just haven't embraced me yet. 

My friends tell me I'm great, but then again who's friends wouldn't tell them that? I feel like it's standard friendship protocol.  

I'm my biggest critic and tend to beat myself up about the little things. I also am a huge hypocrite, because I allow myself to fall victim to comparisons, and I always say I HATE when people compare things. 

Don't worry, working on this is my #2 priority (after dedicating myself to being a superstar intern). I've been praying every night for the Big Guy Upstairs to help me with my confidence. EVERY night. 

Pray for me too.

Let's hope he fits me into his busy schedule.