Am I Really an 'Onion,' Or Do You Just Not Know Me?

My mornings always wind up entertaining in some way or another, today especially. This morning -- at an ungodly time of 9:20am -- I was diverted from my usual dollar van Jamaican banter by a text from one of my most inquisitive comrades:

"Aren't I like an onion? You ever heard Shrek say that? 'Like an onion, I have layers.'"

Honestly, my initial response included a couple of blank blinks and a nonchalant, "No, Bink." No one looks for deep and mind rousing discussions before the heaviness of last night's sleep leaves their eyes. But being the Bink that she is who gives no damns about the time of day, she continued on with the mini fireside chat. And it made me wonder a little about myself. Am I an onion?

I feel like I've heard so many one-liners about my elusive nature that I should, in theory, feel that way. Not so much that "I'm an onion," because that verbiage is uber corny (sorry Bink). More so that I'm this person with these endless layers that people never see. After hanging with some, they'll say, "Wow Stacy, I had no idea you were this [insert adjective here]!" (Funny, silly, rude and ratchet are the usual choice words.) "I had no idea you could turn up like this." "I didn't know you drink." "Wait, you hang around X, Y and Z, are Jamaican AND natural, and you don't smoke?" The list goes on. Guys, it's really about judgment and perception before experience and my voluntary decision to feed myself to you little by little. I'm a person who lives and operates by vibes, and the vibe I feel out the quickest is that of one who judges. If you know anything about me at all, you know very well that that's my kryptonite. One of my greatest fears is to have someone make a judgment of me and not like me or treat me a certain (read: bad) way because of it. I know I know; it's a terrible fear. I'm working on it. For that reason, I hold off. If I can see your heart first and feel your carefree nature, I will gladly open up. I'll laugh and joke and be loud and expressive and honest, even, if the fear of cast judgment disappears the moment you flash a grin. It's just as simple as that.

It takes a little longer for me to feel out that vibe in others, but if it's there, I do open up. I know it's hard to figure me out and put your finger on exactly where I stand, but I truly believe half the fun is in finding out. Believe it or not, this is one of the things I love most about me. I like being that pleasant surprise. The look on someone's face when they realize that I'm someone they can lean on, trust, vent to, explore with, plan with, cry with, dream with, and of course party with always makes my day that much better. It's a little bit of that Stacy magic (smile).

So no, I wouldn't say I'm an onion with all these layers to be peeled back and discovered. I'm more like a pistachio: I'm just quiet or I'm just not. There is a shell, it's there alright, but it's not THAT hard to get me to open up. And when I do... c'mon, everyone loves pistachios! So get familiar.

Plus, onions stink anyway.


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