Stop Racing, or You'll Trip.

Somehow, I have been cruelly tricked into believing that at this point and time in my life, I should be at my prime.


That's some evil thinking, because at 22 and such, we should be at the starting line. Excited. Not defeated.

I was scrubbing the shampoo out of my 'fro in the shower when I started thinking about where I was in terms of developing my career and my brand. I was marveling over some of the cool accomplishments of my friends as of recently. Then I was scorning myself for not being IT right now. 

I scowl with envy at the bloggers-turned-socialites chronicling their world travels and fancy soirees, grumbling, "How'd they get that big anyway?"

I don't think I pop up in the Rolodex alongside legendary photographers Terry Richardson, Angela Boatwright, and Nabil Elderkin. Or even hot new phenomenons like Ernest Estimé

I beat myself up daily about not being the John F. Kennedy of VIBE Magazine, or the critically acclaimed penner of the most recent Thank You, Frank Ocean letter dream hampton, or the budding brilliant wisdom whisperer simply known as JasFly. I'm just S. Ellis, the writer. And I'm the only one who calls me that. 


Why am I not making bank? Why am I not poppin? Why don't people know me? Why am I not at my prime?

Then it hit me (quite disrespectfully might I add. I got conditioner in my eye when the epiphany came).


I remember talking about this with my good friend Durrl in the yearbook office my last semester of school. We are force fed to believe that as soon as you graduate, you must wedge yourself into the system (aka get a job) and be banking and balling and boasting and "doing it up," as we so affectionately call it. We feel like we have to be ready to stunt for our first 3 Homecomings or we aren't worth it. We haven't made it. We aren't... doing it.

Those cats I listed above are upper 20- and 30-somethings, and their glory blossoms are just now beginning to sprout. They're doing it. But they didn't start that way. They started from nothing much. Little somethings of greatness, possibilities and ambition. Now, they've learned, grown, and established themselves through trials, tribulations, and TIME.

I've got TIME. WE'VE GOT TIME. Stop rushing. 

The age I pray to the Big Guy Upstairs to live to is at least 90 years old. And I'm a measly 22 trying to figure out why I haven't lived it all and have the stripes to show it? Psht, I am an INFANT in the grand scheme of life. We all are.

Perfect example. I hate to break it to you, but to all of my friends who graduated from business schools and got whisked into consulting and marketing associate jobs with various noteworthy companies, y'all are not doing it. Congrats on the temporary win, but you all are at the very bottom of your totem pole. No shade, though. I said YOUR totem pole. I'm saying that there is more to be achieved. More wins. You all just scratched the surface of your success. Same for everyone else.

And for me, I just filed my nails and applied two top coats of Sally Hansen. I'm ready to start scratching. 

I'm happy -- no, overjoyed -- for all my friends' marvelous feats thus far. I truly am. And God's telling me that I'm headed in the right direction by surrounding me with such positive, dedicated, and inspirational people. People who grind. 

But I, we, have to take it easy. This is just the beginning and this ISN'T a race. 

Let's pace ourselves accordingly. 


  1. Yes Stacy!!!!!! This just made life so much simpler for me. <3 #QD

  2. Much needed words. You also got me scared that I'm gonna have an epiphany & get conditioner in my eye in the next few minutes. Shower wisdom is a blessing and a curse


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